Heartache
by vcky-chan
Summary: She's rich, good-looking, and popular. He is too. Problem:She hates his guts. R & R please. I've redone my "writing style". Hope this is better.


This is my new story. I don't plan to continue the other 2 (Song of the Heart & History Repeats Itself) because I don't think people like them very much. They sem to be really awful stories. I have only few reviews and most are negative. Like what one of the reviewers said, I seemed out of my story. They make the reader feel out of place. Maybe that's because I don't feel much for those stories. Except maybe for Song of the Heart. Anywayz, I might just rewrite the 2 stories during summer vacation…April and May for me here in the Philippines. Right now I'll just concentrate on this. In this story, Shan Cai's not really poor.. You could call her semi-rich. She's really pretty and quite popular. Her personality is  semi-same, however.. She might  be slightly OOC at times though.

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     Gosh…Where in heaven's name could Quing He be?  Xiao You and Pao Lao? Uhgh…First day of school at Ying De and I'm lost. Technically, I'm lost simply because I can't find them….I mean, I already know this place like the back of my hand….Where are they? I've been standing here near the gate for 10 whole minutes! Hey, isn't that tall guy with the funny hair Xiao Ling?! I can't approach him though…He'd tease me to death…Whatever…I'll just go to my room.

     On the way to my room, I noticed that Gao Lan was sitting on the bench outside one of the rooms. I can still remember the fun we had with Xiao Chen at our old tutoring place. Hmmm…he's so different now. I mean, we used to be buddies. Now he treats me like I'm some sort of prospective girlfriend. Duh. As if I'd ever  date him.  

     As I approached our room, I noticed that nobody was sitting on the bench. Does that mean I'm late? I hope not. I don't really want to ruin my record on the first day of school. Everyone's sitting down already! Should I enter? Maybe I should. 

     "Good morning Ma'am Lin," I said as I entered. Then I stood there like an idiot. I couldn't help it. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. 

     "Miss Mu Ye, what are you waiting for? Take a seat," Miss Lin told me quite sternly. Oh, this is not going to be a good day…If my first ay in Ying De is gonna be like this, I wonder how I'm going to last 4 years!!

     Yup, that's how my first day at Ying De started out. Now, 2 months later, I realize that lots have changed since those first few days. I have found my place in this school (which pays 45% attention to our minds and 55% to social rank). I now have my own circle of friends,  Xiao Zi, Li Bao, Ah Quing and Xiao Jiao being the ones closest to me. There are others too of course. We (the 4 of us) belong to one huge "group" with the 4 of us forming our own clique. 

     Life couldn't be any better. I'm making good grades and my social life isn't that bad either. Ah, how things have changed since that first day! I had expected and partially wanted to remain as part of the background. But hey, look at me now. There are some people out there who don't like me much (jealous probably) but I don't pay any attention to them much so they don't really lash out at me all the time. Just occasionally.

     My train of thought was broken by the voice of my best friend, Xiao Zi. I was suddenly brought back to the real world. Ying De's cafe, during break time.

    "Hello!! Earth to Shan Cai!! Are you awake? Wake up!!"

    "Huh? Uh, yeah.  What," I asked. I really didn't know what she was talking about. I mean, I was busy _thinking_!

    "I think I totally lost you there!!"

    "Uh…I was just thinking."

    "About who?! Mei Hao?! Wu Lan?"

    "No!!! Why would I think about them?! They are BUTT UGLY!!"

    "Whatever you say Shan Cai! Anyway, what do you think about my idea?"

    "What idea?" I was completely dumbstruck. I mean, doesn't she realize I wasn't listening?? Oops… She looked like she was about to kill me…I knew she wouldn't though. Xiao Zi's the type of person who doesn't really get mad at anyone much. She more or less forgets you did something bad to her and  forgives you a few apologies later. She's good at hiding her problems too. I mean she's short and pretty and totally bubbly. She's probably the only person I know who doesn't have much of a temper. Of course, when she's serious and angry, her temper flares up like mine. It doesn't happen often though. Anyway…back to our conversation.

    "Are you listening this time?! You can be so impossible sometimes! Anyway, I'm talking about my idea about YOU dating Xiao Li!"   

    "X-xiao Li?! That guy from that homeroom across Ah Quing's?!" Was she crazy? ME date Xiao Li?! I'd never do anything like that! No way! Never! I mean, I'm not THAT stupid. I wouldn't date anyone here in Ying De…EVER. All the guys here are jerks. The girls are fine (except for a selected few who are SO snobbish) but the guys are absolutely stupid and arrogant. I'd die before I'd start dating them.

    "Yup!!!"

    "Why would I do something like that?!"

    "Because you wanna get rid of your stupid admirers who keep on planning to touch you in certain places!!!" She said it smiling. I knew she was quite proud of the idea which she had single-handedly produced. I didn't want to disappoint her but…

    "EUW!!! No way!!! Uh-uh!! No can do!!" I stood up suddenly and almost knocked down our table. My drink was even spilled. Poor  chocolate milkshake with the extra whipped cream on top!! 

    "Listen to my entire idea first before you start an earthquake-slash-flood."

    "No!"

    "I said listen first! You might like it." 

    "Fine but there is no way I'm gonna change my mind. I mean, can't you see how bad it's gonna be for my image? All those stupid girls who hate me are going to start hating me even more."

     I started grumbling but I kept my voice low and listened anyway. I mean, I do have to give her credit. She is trying to help me after all. And she is my best friend. Besides, she's the one and only person who can keep my temper in check. Of course, Xiao You and the others used to do so too. That's a different story though.    

    "So, what do you say? "

    "I still don't think that's a great idea."

    "Shan Cai! Please! For me?" 

     She started looking at me with those puppy-dog eyes…Maybe I should just do it then….It might help….This is for my own good….It might help me to repay Xiao Zi's kindness too…

     "Uh…uhmm…." While I was stuttering and thinking about what I should say, Xiao Zi grabbed my arm.

     "Sh-shan Cai! Look!! It's Dao Ming Si!!"

     "Huh! Who's that?!"

     "My long time crush!!" 

      She pointed to a guy who was sitting at a table a few tables from ours. He was tall and muscular with funny hair. He had this air of power bordering arrogance about him. All in all, he could be considered good-looking. He's not really my type but I really wouldn't mind dating him either. Besides, the way he helped Xiao Zi forget about the Xiao Li thing really makes him okay in my book. One thing I noticed though was that I had met him before. Only I can't remember when. There were other guys with him too. Pretty good-looking guys. The other guys weren't really my type though. One was too muscular, the other too "sleepy-looking" and the last one too plain. Cute but plain. If I were to rate those 3 guys, probably a  5-4-6 respectively. 

     "Uhmm…Xiao Zi, tell me about your crush. He seems familiar. I think I've seen him before."

     Xiao Zi snapped out of her day-dreaming and told me stuff about him. Turns out he's really, really rich. Richer than Xiao Zi, even. He lives all alone in their mansion full of servants because his parents travel often for business and his older sister no longer lives there. He's one year ahead of us and so are his other friends. They have this group which they call F4. They've been best friends since just about forever. The muscular guy's Mei Zhuo, the sleepy guy is Hua Zhe Lei, and the plain guy is Xi Men. According to Xiao Zi, the most "fierce" guy of the group is Dao Ming Si. He steps on those who are unpopular but is friends with everybody else. He's nice only to friends. They're all like that though. Only he's the worst among the 4 of them. Thankfully though, the group that I hang out with, including Xiao Zi,  were his friends back in their younger days. Meaning, I won't be stepped on in the future. Hopefully, anyway.

     F4 I quite interesting and I'm really looking forward to getting to know more about them. I mean, I find it really weird that I've been going to school here for the last 2 months but I never heard of them.  They're supposed to be the most popular people here.  I need to do more "research".

    My train of thought was interrupted by a commotion in the canteen.

    "Sorry! Sorry, mister! I really didn't mean to," said a voice I knew so well.

    "If apologies solved everything, we wouldn't need the police," replied another voice which I didn't bother to recognize. I quickly ran to Quing He's rescue.

    "Shan Cai!! Wait!"

     I rushed to Quing He's side. I asked him if he was okay. Then, I stood up and started to lash out at the guy who was bullying him. Surprisingly, I found myself face to face with Dao Ming Si.

     I felt surprised and really bewildered. So this is Dao Ming Si? The cutest guy in campus is a jerk? I can't believe it. This is so confusing. How could that guy who was smiling so sweetly a few minutes ago with his friends turn into such a big fat bastard? How? All at once, my good thoughts for this person evaporated into thin air.

     I suddenly felt intense hatred for this guy whom I didn't even know so much about yet. Yet this one thing that he did to one of my childhood friends made me want to strangle him SO much. How could he be so cruel? Did he think that just because he was extremely popular that he could step on the unpopular people that way? What kind of person was he?

     I was going to start saying more insults to him when I noticed that his expression had turned from anger to surprise. As quickly as it came, it then disappeared.

     "So, you think you can go up against me? You're just a puny girl for crying out loud!"

     "Oh! So you think you're so macho and strong, eh?! Let's see about that. Bastard! Out of my way!!" 

     I shoved away the other people who had gathered to watch us and quickly ran out of the building. I ran as fast as I could to one of the benches near the gate of the school. I didn't even bother to listen to the other stuff that Dao Ming Si called out.. I just sat there panting and thinking about how much that guy disgusted me. I didn't notice that Xiao Zi was already beside me and that Quing He was there too. 

     I told them how disgusted I was and quickly made an excuse so I could leave the place. I went home and slept for a few hours. I woke up and ate a little dinner. I tried to sleep again but the thoughts of this afternoon's happenings haunted me. I decided to just write in my journal. Here's how it goes:__

_January 6, 2004_

_    This afternoon, I met a guy. A guy who was being mean and everything to Quing He. I quickly ran into his rescue and found out who the guy was. Dao Ming Si. One of the most conceited jerks I have ever met in the planet. He acts so high and mighty and doesn't care if he steps on the "unpopular" people on his way to the top. Not that he'd have much to travel since he's already on top in Ying De. He's a real babe and is really rich but his attitude stinks like a can of tuna. Totally bad. At that very moment I saw him do that stuff to Quing He I felt only one thing…hatred._

_     I realize now that I also feel hatred towards the school. Why do they permit such behavior? I mean, I'm sure this isn't the first time he's done a thing like this. Xiao Zi did say that he sometimes stepped on people who he didn't find popular or cool enough. It isn't fair. Did the school care so much for one's social rank that they didn't care as long as the "crime" was being done by a person whose social rank is above all the others'? It was like politics or something– correction: not just politics, the outside world too. _

_     I used to think that the school was a place where we are all equal and brought up the same way in order for us to prosper and make it in the outside world. Ying De University has proved me wrong. All my life, I have believed in the powers of the academe. Now, that belief is slipping away. Now, I know that it doesn't really matter whether you're in school or in the middle of politics or in a casino or whatever. In this world, money is what matters. It is a truth which no matter how I try, I cannot deny._

_      It's weird though. I'm part of the popular crowd. I'm rich, I'm pretty and I'm smart. If that's so, why do I feel this way? Why do I feel myself being gravitated towards the protection of the unpopular kids?  I mean, this very afternoon, I felt glad because he was friends and in good terms with the group I hang out with. I was glad because it meant that I would never be stepped on by him. Now, here I am, caring about the problem of kids in Ying De who I wouldn't be associating with in the first place. Except for Quing He of course. No matter how childish and nerdy he is he's still one of my long-time friends._

_     Life is so confusing…_

     My journal entry last night was like, so true. I never thought today would be any different from my other days. Except that I woke up this morning with a headache, something which I seldom have.  Hmm….Must have been the entire "bullying" thing. Anyway, I forced myself to take a shower, comb my hair into a ponytail, put on a pair of jeans I found on the floor, a white tank top, and a hot pink halter top which I wore over the tank top. I wore my sneakers, grabbed my books, cellphone, money, car keys and left. So you see, today would have been a very plain day.

     When I reached outside, however, I found out that I had left my car at the school since I ran all the way home yesterday. Unfortunately, the school is short quite a long walk from our house. My parents were away on a business trip and the chauffer was on vacation until tomorrow. I decided to just force myself to walk. A couple of blocks from school, I saw a black car slowing beside me. Turns out it was Dao Ming Si, asking me to "hop in". As if I'd ever do that.

     "Take a hike Dao Ming Si! I'm not getting inside any car with you!"

     I felt really weird. I mean, we just had a spat yesterday and he was asking me to ride in his car. Didn't he know how much I hated his guts? It made me feel so mad. Did he think I was like other girls? That I would fall upon his feet too? Ha! Fat chance. He kept on forcing me to ride so I just started to walk faster and he left me alone after a while.

     I went to class and was surprised that after my class, he was there at the door, waiting for me.

      "Will you please leave me alone? Don't you realize how much I hate you and that I am willing to kill you? Are you that dumb? Go away already," I used my most icy voice on him. The voice I reserve for un-cute guys only. Weird thing is, he just stood there smiling. And no matter how much I hated him, at that very minute, I just wanted to melt in his arms. I wanted to kill myself for thinking that way but I couldn't help it. His smile was so cute and he seemed so sincere. Still, I had to keep my reputation so I just told him to "bug off" and walked away. I met up with Xiao Zi, Ah Quing, Li Bao, and Xiao Jiao since we had the next  class together .

     "I just saw what happened there girl! You totally left him there," Ah  Quing gushed.

     "So what," I said as nonchalantly as I could. Not that I was nonchalant with the topic. It still bugged me, the way I felt when he asked me if he could walk me to class.

     "So what?! He is the hottest babe here and has never been serious with anybody except for Gao Ling who was older than him," Xiao Zi said.

     "I think she did the right thing," Li Bao commented and stepping in front of us.

     "Give me 5 girl," I said as we entered our room.  Nothing else which can be classified as weird happened until lunch.

      So, here I am, in the cafeteria, in line and waiting for a chance to order. That Mei Zhuo guy was standing in front of me and was taking forever to order. Not that he's ordering a lot. He already placed his order of 4 lasagnas and 1 brewed coffee. He's taking forever because he's busy flirting with the cashier who was at least 30 years old. She's really pretty though.

     This thing is seriously taking forever. Lunchtime will be over before I get to order. It's my turn to treat the girls too. Which means they're gonna get hungry because of this flirt who likes older women!

     "Hey, Mei Zhuo, give this pretty lady here a time to order," said a deep voice. I didn't have to look at him. I knew who he was already. I looked up anyway. There he was, the great Dao Ming Si, smiling down at me with his kilowatt smile. This time, I was sure I was going to melt. He looked absolutely adorable. And sweet and sincere too!

     Hey! Why am I thinking about all this crap! He's my enemy! He's a bastard who depends on his money and looks! I musn't succumb to that smile of his. I'm not like other girls. I'm Mu Ye Shan Cai. Besides, he's probably being sweet so he can get me. He won't get me this way, however. Mu Ye Shan Cai succumbs to strength, not to charm.

_Will Shan Cai succumb to Dao Ming Si's strength? Or will she succumb to his charms and find herself in love?_

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Well? What do you guys think? Better? I hope so. I mean, I really did my best with this one. I really put myself into it. That's why I'm hoping for some nice reviews from you guys. Ones with the negative and positive stuff about my writing. I'm accepting anonymous reviews, if you guys wanna know. You can e-mail me too. That's all for now! Ja ne!


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